Office Max!

The FOSE 2008 conference has everything a government IT worker wants, even office furniture.

Nevertheless, there are a lot of big exhibitors there, and of course it’s dominated by hardware vendors. Lenovo, Dell, HP, IBM, Fujitsu, Toshiba… all present and accounted for. There were also tons of vendors with everything from server racks to air and power handlers to cable ties to IT office furniture. Google did have a prime-position booth, though, showing off their search engines and other online services, and there were some jobhunting organizations there too, like Dice.com.

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Fun job!

My assignment was admittedly a plum! You´ll generally have to start at the bottom, driving to a furniture store in the sticks on a Sunday to report on how they are doing. If you prove yourself as careful, punctual and reliable you´ll soon find yourself getting paid a few bucks (and more importantly having your expenses covered) while you go to the movies or out to eat.

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Office moves can be brutal.

Utter, utter farce. The start of the move is this afternoon, and all over the weekend. The office furniture and so on is there, but the company sorting out the router and networking have fucked up the router, so the one that’s in there needs to come out, and a new one go in.

Have a plan and leave time for a trip to Office Max.

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For the rest of us, there's Office Max.

My husband works for an office furniture company, so desks and chairs have been freebies throughout the years.

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Here's a little office furniture story for your amusement. Office Max doesn't carry wormwood office desks and cornithian leather office chairs, but they have the more economical makes.

With gratitude (and apologies) to C. S. Lewis.

“Don’t slink along the walls, boy, come in!” The voice is richer than the nephew remembers, vinous and lordlier, but with a reassuring tinge of malice just beneath the surface.

“By his tail, Uncle, this is fine,” gasps Mildew, stepping cautiously into the center of the vast chamber that is his uncle’s new office. The walls are hung with scarlet velvet; the temperature an agreeable Fahrenheit 911.

Screwtape stands in one corner behind a magnificent expanse of polished wood. “These desks are only given to the highest ranks,” he says proudly. “Solid wormwood!” At the familiar name, the visitor flinches and slows his approach. Screwtape chuckles. “Shame about your brother, really,” he murmurs, and just the tip of a red tongue flickers from his lips. “But let us hope you are made of more ambitious stuff?”

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Here's a story about the impressions one young man had walking into an office. If you think office desks and office chairs don't matter, think again.

One summer break, during my undergrad days at UGA, I worked as an intern for IBM. I'd worked for them before and grew to dread the company. But my dad urged me to take the job. He's a lifetime IBMer and corporate exec-- I suppose he was hoping I could still be salvaged... might still turn out to be a responsible businessman.

He assured me I would have a good experience because I would be working in a "creative department": IBM's in-house video production unit. They had a state of the art studio. I thought, "this might be cool". How wrong I was.

I knew right away... the second I walked in the door: tan carpet, off-white walls, acoustic ceiling tile, fluorescent lights. . Desks were arranged in cubicles (chest high)... which were grey. The furniture was standard office supply: fake wood. They gave me a tour. Each cubicle was the same-- a picture of the wife or husband, a calendar, stacks of paper. The only windows in the room ran along one wall-- and were monopolized by the offices of managers and "senior staff". Everyone wore a suit and tie. Everyone wore black shoes.

Next they took me to the studios. I felt a twinge of excitement-- then a quick let down. Walls: Flat grey. Floor: Tan tile. Equipment: black or grey.

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